I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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