LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
