Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
