can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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