Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
