i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My ass is underappreciated
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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