I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
