I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
