I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize