I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
