is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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