Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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