I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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