i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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