I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
