there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize