we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
