okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
