38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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