hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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