Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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