Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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