I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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