you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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