come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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