she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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