If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
NoShamevember. You game?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
