As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
