rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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