you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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