the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
