Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize