I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Never let your siblings swipe right.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
