I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
