Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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