Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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