why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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