you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
