You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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