i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
