my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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