I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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