i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Two words: blizzard sex
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
