You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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