Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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