In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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