Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
