we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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