We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
