Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
