That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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