I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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