there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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