I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
