You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
