Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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