u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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