I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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