I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize