U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
