dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
